Surprise! John Randall and I Just Launched A Children’s Picture Book Like No Other!


Readers of I Am To Tell You This And I Am To Tell You It Is Fiction (which goes on sale for a limited time this weekend–don’t miss it!) will be no strangers to The Story of Toe. Now, artist and guy-with-coolest-childhood-encounter-with-an-elf-since-Elf, John Randall, and I present it in its full-color, large format glory!

The Amazon description has some formatting issues that will be fixed later today. And when it is, it will look suspiciously like this:

This is the story of Toe. You may imagine that Toe is a time and a place and a people. Or, you may imagine that Toe is an individual. Both are true. Toe is Toe. And this is how Toe experiences the world right now…

So it begins as we prepare to follow Toe on a journey of awakening to the whole of the body and beyond!

As deep as…

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The Am I crazy? rut is an easy one to fall into. Usually, we begin with this question and try to prove it isn’t the case. This is where the nuts-and-bolts materialist perspective gains its appeal with experiencers: it portends a solid answer we can all agree upon and explore through science and conspiracy theory.

That was me in February, 2014, on the verge of delving into an aspect of alien abductees in an essay for this blog. But I never got around to it. And then, like anyone with sanity and smarts, I stopped giving a shit about alien abductions and their infernal abductees.

Hello, I’m Jeremy Vaeni. Lately, I’ve been going through abandoned bits and pieces I’ve typed up through the years to expound upon later. Now, I either care very little about the subjects that were direly important to me then, or I’ve written up, or otherwise…

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Alien Savages


Meh. I forgot to look and see when I wrote this tidbit. At least 2018. I never did anything with it, but something of the sentiment gets explored in great detail in, I Am To Tell You This And I Am To Tell You It Is Fiction.

It is incumbent upon the aliens to make sure you understand they come in peace.

Every racist depiction we have of Europeans landing in the Americas, Africa, or an island is of the scared “savage” greeting calm, even-tempered white people with loud, crazy language and at the tip of a spear. Aliens mock this with their roboticized “We mean you no harms” and placid “Just calm downs” in the context of, not meet-and-greets, but, abductions, wherein the abductee is screaming and thrashing about, savagely.

Yeah, that’s it. That’s all I’ve got. I’m sure when I wrote it I had big plans to stretch…

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So, My Interview For Dreamland Took A Turn


Next time you think the world is coming to an end or is so out of control with corruption that it can’t possibly have anything to do with you, ask yourself why bottled water exists.

Those of you who have been following the blog of late know that I’ve been having some fun cleaning out my old drafts and writing tidbits that didn’t make it into my new book. The above quote is me cleaning out old drafts and was going to be the whole of this post. But, I just wrapped an interview with Whitley Strieber for his show, Dreamland, which will air November 27th. It took an unexpected turn for me when he described where I live in Hawaii, painting a picture of a dangerous, beautiful place at the edge of the country and the end of the world. This is accurate, no question. It brought to…

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Allowing For Uncertainty

Have some normalcy, why dontcha?


As I continue to clean out my old drafts on this here blog, I come across this post from 2017, which only has a title. Nothing in it, just the title. WTF? Great work, 2017 me.

I am completely uncertain what it was about. And now I’m allowing for that. So I guess, if it was a message to 2020 me, it worked. Sorta.

Speaking of 2020 me and uncertainty, I recently had a synchronicity that amounts to nothing. I mean they’re supposed to be about something, right? But not this one, not that I can see. Perhaps it is for 2025 me. Maybe it will all make sense then. In the interest of filling space, I shall give it to you now….

Back when I was a wee lad in high school, my friends and I made a short film called, “Madge The Usual.” It was a sendup of…

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Trip To The Alien Vet


You know how we’re always looking at the content of high strangeness experiences to try to solve them? It makes sense to want to know what is going on, but more often than not we make an analogy to events in our normal everyday lives and instead of saying, “It’s like that,” we say, “It is that.”

For example, how many people have you heard sounding all smart to themselves for make the analogy between alien abductions and taking our pets to the veterinarian? These aliens treat us like we treat animals, they say, and so that must be what we are to them. Isn’t this declaration of what the unknown is and is doing really just cutting off a narrow slice of the story, making an analogy for it, and then immediately forgetting it’s just an analogy for that slice?

We want answers and we want them to make…

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How Will You Review? A Fun International Challenge Awaits!


Alright, folks, the gauntlet has been thrown. Joe Gooch, who has given us the likes of this:

And this:

Has promised to do a book review in the form of an expressive dance. With any bit of luck he will be wearing a breathable, supportive unitard in a color that best compliments his figure. Or lime green.

Now look, I recognize that my book isn’t going to get the most reviews on Amazon–that hard work is usually reserved for lesser authors who pander to their audience and haven’t gotten themselves blacklisted from their field. Authors who are not me, in other words. But, in similar words, while I’m no panderer, I’m also no stranger to begging. I’m begging you: please leave a review. Books on Amazon live and die based on feedback from anonymous readers and so I’d love for you to review it. Yeah, even if you don’t like…

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Good Ol’ Amazon


Aloha, Gang:

Just a quick note for anyone who uses Amazon’s “Look Inside” feature to read book excerpts. For I Am To Tell You This And I Am To Tell You It Is Fiction, the Kindle version works just fine. But today, I had them dismantle the paperback version, which was completely different from the Kindle. In fact, the paperback version spoiled the ending and made the entire book look like something it is not. Two kinda huge problems.

As of now, if you want to read excerpts, click on the Kindle version. If you want to buy the Kindle version, I was alerted to the fact (thank you, alerter person) that it isn’t available on all Kindle devices because it is a print replica. (It has to be. I cannot change this due to some of the image-heavy content.)

Sorry for any inconvenience this is causing ya, folks…

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Why Haven’t Alien Abductions Looked Futuristic In Decades


Hey, here’s something cool. Toward the end of 2019 I left myself a bunch of notes for essays I could write to explore some alternative possibilities involved with alien abductions that I wanted to use here in the lead-up to the release of my book, I Am To Tell You This And I Am To Tell You It Is Fiction. Clearly, I forgot all about them as I published the book last week with very little lead-up. So, now I’ve got some tidbits to write over the coming weeks. I’d love to read your thoughts in the comments. Let’s start here….

Were he alive today, I wonder if Carl Jung would conclude that alien abductions are archetypal encounters, or folkloric world-building, for our forward-thinking age. If so, would he view continuity errors like antiquated technology and filthy “operating rooms” as evidence that the interface between the human collective unconscious…

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