Posted on July 2, 2013
Reblogged this on JayVay.
Comatose Jellyfish, I’ve got all their albums, man!
Yeah. I’m a huge fan of Beck’s side projects.
Jeremy, here is something interesting. I don’t know if it means anything, but here goes. My whole life, in spurts, I have always seen strange things. Back around 2008, I was in a spurt of seeing nothing strange. However, I decided to start meditating in order to bring myself calmness. I wasn’t doing it in order to experience anything strange, yet it happened. I had found an online tutorial to do something called “kundalini yoga”, and I added that into my meditation routine. Well, wouldn’t you know, as soon as I began practicing it daily, shit got real weird. Real real weird. At that time, I didn’t really know what kundalini was, but I sure got gobsmacked with it, I guess. I thought I was losing it. I suppose I was, and the ego panicked. What do you think? I saw UFOs, little creatures shoving me, waking me up in the middle of the night, conversations in a language I didn’t understand going on in full daylight, right in front of me, chirps, beeps going on around me everywhere I went, out of body experiences, people singing in strange languages over the baby monitor, my kids waking up in the middle of the night, pointing to something invisible in the room, my daughter plagued by “monkey shadows” in her room, shadows who “dance, eat cereal and go back up to the stars with the hexagons” (she told me this when she was 3) When she was 2, when I started doing the meditation and “yoga”, she could see something “spinning” on my forehead. Right where the “3rd eye” would be located. Most of this has gone away, most of this scared the shit out of me, though. Some of it tries to come back, part of me would like to see it again, yet when I wake up with the closet humming, trying to suck me up, or a portal open over my head with those pesky gray critters trying to entice me into it, I panic, I feel like its somehow a trick. What would you do?
Pee. A lot.
Actually, this poses an interesting question: Did/do I not experience most of that through kundalini because I already have/do in “normal” life. I mean if you’re an ‘abductee’ before kundalini emerges, it’s not going to appear to be the cause of them, right?
Some of this merits further questioning of you, though. Like, a portal opening up and grays enticing you in. Is that a dream? Is that a DMT-induced hallucination? Did you feel as though you were in a normal state of consciousness at the time? What surrounded that event? What WAS that event?
Well, I have seen a gray in a normal, awake state, once, and then I promptly blacked out, and then I woke up in bed and it was daylight. I feel that there was missing time, but I am not sure. I told myself for a long time that it was just a dream, but I was thinking about that one day, after the UFO and the other creatures waking me up at my bedside, when I was truly questioning my sanity. I realized then, like a bolt of lightning that if that was a dream, it was the oddest, realest dream I’d ever had. The morning after it happened, I remember sitting behind the wheel of my car, talking to myself, saying “It was just a dream. That did not really happen. No, no, it was a demon. It really happened and it was a demon. No, it was a dream. It was a dream. Yeeeeahhh, that’s it, it was a dreaaam. That’s the ticket.” I’d had strange experiences before that, seen a UFO, with my parents, we had subsequent poltergiest phenomena at home. My dad had a history of waking up to see hooded figures at his bedside, even saw a dark figure wearing a derby hat once. So, what does the portal mean? Well, years ago, everything scared the utter bejesus out of me, and for good reason, the things that happened were totally scary. But, in the past few years, they have seemed a lot more positive. There was a profound experience in which I had some sort of “heart surgery” for lack of a better term. This portal, this happened while my husband was away from home for the night, my husband and daughter. It was just me, my mom and my son. I felt I woke up and I felt, could look around, I was in my own bed, awake, it seemed. I felt bombarded with this super sappy feeling of love from them, so syrupy it felt fake. They were telling me to come with them, that they would show me all this wonder. I almost did go with them, I think 4 times they tried. I was paralyzed, getting sucked away, but then I would panic and it would stop. Finally, my husband walked in the room, I thought he was home and I was so happy. I was about to tell him what happened, but he left the bedroom and went back in the living room. I followed but he had pulled the curtains away from the front window, and he was standing there, hypnotized by these lights doing strange maneuvers in the sky. I was trying to yell to him not to look, that it was a trick, but I couldn’t talk. I don’t remember anything after that. I guess it was a dream, because I woke up later and it was morning, and he wasn’t home yet. It sure seemed real. I guess it’s also worth noting that this all took place after my mom had woken me up at 3 am to talk about God and how worried she was that I was not teaching my children about God “properly”. When we went back to bed, it was about 3:30 in the morning, and this all happened, it seemed ,just as I was dozing off after that.
To what, if anything, do you attribute the change from “negative” to “positive” experiences? From your perspective is this a change in tactic or an actual change?
Also, this last incident just happened at the end of May this year. The time I woke up to see a gray staring at me close to my face was in 1995.
And I guess asking what you would do is kind of a dumb question for me to ask, to which “pee a lot” is an appropriate answer. I mean, everyone’s experience seems in some way to be tailor made to “suit your fancy” almost, in a weird, twisted sort of way. Fancy an ET? Well here you go, we’ll take sperm or ova and do a medical exam. Fancy a demon? Well here’s a demon, dragging you out of bed and raping you. Fancy a buckwheat pancake? Well here’s a spaceship, complete with a griddle and BAM, here’s a pancake. And so on and on and on, with angels, incubi, succubi, faeries, bowling, ale drinking dwarves, etc etc etc.
I really wonder, you know. I guess, if anything, the change was in some ways my own perception, and I had become more experienced in life, more jaded in some ways, yet more loving in others. A more complex person, I suppose. Although, the portal and the hurling this syrupy, heavy love feeling at me just felt insincere. It felt like a trick in some way. And when my husband was powerless, it felt like they were saying “Oh, well, not gonna come with us? Well your husband can’t protect you. He’s more vulnerable than you are.” I mean, you know, maybe I’m totally wrong about that, but that was how it felt at the time.
The heart surgery, I should elaborate on that. Well, this was after the UFO, the undeniable UFO I saw out my bedroom window on April 4, 2008, at about 11 pm. Before that UFO, in January, 2008, I had woken up because someone had shoved me on the right shoulder. I tried to go back to sleep, but there was another shove on the right shoulder. I turned to look then. There was a small person standing there, naked, brown. It seemed to be a woman, although there were no distinguishing female features. The facial features were broad, hard to remember though. The hair was most notable. It was severe, black. Could have been a helmet, but it appeared to me to be cut like someone from a South American tribe. I remember thinking or saying “Hey, what are you doing here?” I don’t remember an answer, all I do remember is going back to sleep. Well, then the UFO. Intermingled was all sorts of weirdness, before and after that point. I had seen my son before he was born, in an out of body experience I had (one of many) oh jesus, I am so add, even my “experiences” are add. Anyway, so the heart surgery. I had found an online group after casting about with the UFO, and had found a group I thought of as “home”. Well, my dad died shortly after finding this group. After getting settled with them and myself after he died, I meditated one day and was overcome by a feeling of love and warmth. I put my son down for a nap and my daughter was cool, and I went outside to meditate after a long break with no meditation. Well I got hit hard with a feeling of love that seemed to be coming from outside me. It didn’t feel fake. Something was poured into my right side, something that made me feel warm and tingly all over my body. Well, I was properly freaked out, and I went back in. That night, when I went to bed, I went to sleep normally, but I was woken up by someone saying “She’s asleep!” (a metallic sounding voice in the middle of my head) and then someone said directly to me “He’s a “surgeon” (the word had extra meaning that I can’t express right now, and again the metallic sounding voice in the middle of my head) and then I realized there was a woman to my right and a man to my left, but I couldn’t see anyone. I was in my normal frame of mind but I could see nothing unusual. I was not paralyzed and could do whatever I wanted at will. Then, I felt as if someone was sewing inside my chest at the left side. That’s all I remember. I woke up feeling great, and I never felt bad anymore for a long time. I felt there was some “healing” that took place, but later I felt it was more sinister. Before then, I had palpitations that distracted me from normal life, after then, I didn’t have them for several months. Now, I have them again.
“I am so add, even my “experiences” are add.” Truthfully, I don’t know what I meant by that, except that maybe I was trying to say “odd”. Sorry. And I should have said “She’s awake!”
Kundalini Questions II
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